Who am I? (part 2)

This is one of the stories that I often remember whenever I think of the question “Who am I?”

A sage, an enlightened soul once came to a country. The word about his radiance and power spread across the town and a lot of people started visiting the sage. When the news reached the king of the country, he too wanted to see the sage. He sent a messenger to the sage, inviting him to the palace. But the sage refused to move out of his kudil. Surprised and even enraged by this response, the king himself came to the kudil to meet him.

When the king arrived the sage was in meditation. So the king had to wait for some time. When the sage opened the eyes, he saw the king standing in front of him. The king thought that the sage would be pleased, because the king himself had come to see him. But to his shock, without any expression on the face, the sage asked him, “Who are you?”

This took the king by surprise and he said with a tinge of anger in his voice, “Can you not guess who I am…? I am the king of this country!”

The sage looked at the king. “Oh… is that so? The king is your position… your job…! But who are you?”

With his face becoming even sterner, the king answered “I am the great Raja Marthanda Chakravarthi! Haven’t you heard of my name?”

The sage politely told him… “Yes. I have heard of that name. But it is just a name and you are not the name…! Who are YOU?!”

Now, beginning to get confused, the king realized that this man was no ordinary man. So he thought for a while and said pointing to his own body “See me, I am the king, Raja Marthanda Chakravarthi, in this body, alive and standing in front of you!”

The sage smiled and said “That is just your body… but who are YOU?”

This triggered something in the king and this time he cautiously said, “I am this body with all the flesh, blood and every thing put together”

The sage was not impressed. Pointing to the king’s arm he asked “What is that?”

“My arm” said the king.

“YOUR arm? If that is YOUR arm, and the arm is not YOU, and like that every part of YOUR body belongs to you but it is not YOU, then who are YOU?”

The king started realizing that this was not a simple question. So he thought for a while and finally said, “I think … I am the prana… the breath, because if there is no breath, then I won’t be there”.

The smile in the sage’s face broadened. He said “can you hold your breath for a while?” and the king obeyed. Then the sage asked him, “So, when you were not breathing, did you cease to exist? You were still here, right? YOU were breathing. So, if the breath is not YOU, then WHO was breathing?”

The king was now totally lost. With all reverence he said… “I guess it is my thought, my feelings and emotions, my intellect…” before he could complete the sage interrupted,

“MY thoughts, MY feelings, MY this thing… MY that thing… WHO is that MY?”

The king realized his ignorance and fell at the feet of the sage and told “Swamiji, please take me as you disciple and let me know the answer…”

The sage smiled and said, “If you keep meditating on this one question, you will attain enlightenment!”

When my Guru told me this story, it created a stirr in me, and I did loose many nights sleep thinking of this story. My Guru did give me some answers. But, he also said that those were his answers and that need not be mine. It took me many years to get just glimpses of my anwer. I know that no one could give me my answer. Every one needs to find their own answer. I am still searching inside me!